Active Listening

Active Listening is a way of attending to another person's meaning and checking that you have understood it. It can include a brief reflection in your own words, a clarifying question, and space for correction. Attend to both content and feeling while treating your interpretation as provisional. The purpose is understanding that the speaker recognizes, not mechanically repeating their words or guaranteeing agreement.

Active listening makes your interpretation available for correction. A speaker's words leave room for several meanings, and a listener can easily fill that gap with their own assumptions. A brief, tentative reflection lets the speaker confirm the intended meaning, add a missing concern, or reject your reading. The useful result is a better shared understanding of what is being said, not a perfectly repeated sentence.

Listen for feelings and priorities without claiming privileged access to either. 'It sounds as though the uncertainty is the hardest part' invites correction; 'You are afraid of losing control' may impose a story. After understanding the concern, clarify whether the person wants company, information, a decision, or practical help. Listening can support a disagreement as well as agreement, and it does not obligate either person to accept a request.

When to use it

When an important conversation contains ambiguity, disagreement, unclear requests, or assumptions about the other person's meaning; when feedback or advice is being misunderstood; when a response should begin from an accurate account of what someone is trying to communicate.

How it can help

Allow enough pause to process the speaker's point, reflect the meaning you believe they intend, and invite correction. Ask a relevant clarifying question when needed before offering a solution. Adapt the pace to the situation rather than following a fixed pause duration or quota of questions.