Feedback Calibration (Sandwich vs. Direct)

Feedback methods range from heavily buffered (the 'sandwich': positive-negative-positive) to completely direct. Neither extreme works universally—the optimal approach depends on trust level, psychological safety, and stakes. The sandwich works for low-trust relationships but is widely seen through. Direct feedback works in high-trust relationships but can damage fragile ones. The calibration model says: match directness to trust level, and invest in trust to progressively increase directness. Kim Scott's Radical Candor adds: care personally AND challenge directly—both are required simultaneously.

When to use it

When delivering critical feedback and deciding how to frame it. When your feedback consistently doesn't produce change (too soft). When your feedback damages relationships (too direct for the trust level). When building a team feedback culture.

How it can help

For managers and mentors, this prevents two common mistakes: being so nice feedback never lands (ruinous empathy) and being so direct it destroys relationships (obnoxious aggression). The practical calibration: for new relationships, start buffered while building trust; as trust grows, increase directness. Always signal care before challenge. The test: 'Would this person believe I'm saying this because I care about their growth?' If yes, be direct. If no, invest in the relationship first. Also crucial: ask for feedback on your feedback—calibration requires bidirectional input.