Relationship Annual Review Protocol

A lightweight annual review protocol for ALL important relationships — not just romantic partnerships — to assess investment, satisfaction, and intentionality across your social network. Step 1 — List: Write down the 15-20 most important relationships in your life (partner, close friends, family, mentors, key colleagues). Step 2 — Rate each relationship on two dimensions: (a) Current health (1-10): How strong is the connection right now? (b) Investment (1-10): How much time and energy have I put in this year? Step 3 — Identify patterns: Which relationships are high-health/low-investment (coasting on past deposits)? Which are low-health/high-investment (draining)? Which are high-health/high-investment (your core)? Which have you neglected? Step 4 — Choose 3-5 relationships to intentionally invest in this year. For each, set one specific action: 'Call Maria monthly,' 'Visit Dad quarterly,' 'Have a real conversation with Jake about how he's doing.' Step 5 — Identify 1-2 relationships that are consistently draining and decide whether to invest in repair, accept them as they are, or reduce contact. Step 6 — Consider: Is anyone missing? Are there relationships you'd like to develop?

When to use it

Annually, during a personal review period. After major life transitions that shift social geography (moving, career change, retirement). When you feel lonely or disconnected despite having many acquaintances. When you realize you haven't spoken to someone important in months.

How it can help

Applies the logic of annual review to the dimension of life that matters most but receives the least structured attention: relationships. Most people are strategic about their careers and finances but completely unintentional about their social connections, letting the most important relationships atrophy while investing in whoever happens to be present. The health-investment matrix reveals the specific misalignments. The '3-5 intentional investments' step converts insight into action.